The Stay-At-Home Mom
Black women are the most dynamic creatures on the planet. In all their magic, they have been biologically assigned the tasks of burden bearers, nurturers, caregivers, the family glue and consequently, societal glue, – all this, long before they ever had a chance to accept these responsibilities on their own volition. Many times, this assignment comes without them being adequately prepared for the assumption of these collective roles, but they assume the positions nonetheless; because quite frankly, who else will? They are women, and by virtue, those are the tasks they bear.
Women traditionally have been the burden bearers of every family. But even in their most traditional roles, have never completely had the luxury of simply being stay-at- home moms. For most elderly Black women, the financial demands of the family, irrespective of how meager the ambitions were, forced them into hard physical labor in one regard or another.
Black Women are Now the Most Educated Demographic
Today, Black women have been pegged as being the most educated demographic in America. With education comes a responsibility – the biggest of which is the repayment of those god-awful student loan debt; but even further still, the responsibility to be all they ever envisioned they could be.
Understandably, for some women, “being all we can be” translates to having a loving family, playing the role of wife and mother to perfection and the desire to have a man provide financially. On the surface, it seems ideal, however, this desire is shortsighted and financially imprudent, given the economic situation of the Black community.
With Black women reputedly outpacing Black men in education, enterprising and employment, I fail to see how any woman with long-term vision, factors in the wages in most cities being hardly commensurate to the cost of living, the ever-increasing costs of college tuition, the economic demands of raising a family, the contribution to a retirement account, the opportunity to vacation as a family, yet, somehow, thinks all this could possibly be achieved on a single income when most Black men aren’t CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies.
Stay-at-Home Moms Set a Man Up for a Life of Mediocrity
To desire any life which does not prioritize the provision of a college education for the children you chose to bring into this world, to forgo the preparation for retirement and to deliberately settle for a substandard existence, indicates a lack of ambition. In this day and age when there has never been an easier time to acquire wealth or some semblance of it, it is a waste of a life and a disservice to ones offspring to neglect the opportunity to create generational wealth in an attempt to make it better for the next generation that it was for you. After all, is that not the American Dream?
Perhaps, not every woman holds ambitions for the acquisition of material wealth and some place more value on being stay-at-home moms. And, that should be perfectly fine, too. But at what point, does a woman factor in the potential for divorce, death of her husband, illness or disability, and how any occurrence of one of the above-mentioned misfortunes would render her incapable of financially supporting both the husband and the children alike. For more reasons than one – reasons which transcend the accumulation of riches and the distaste for a substandard life, it is ill-advised for any able-bodied woman not married to a man who is independently wealthy, to opt to play the role of a stay-at-home mother without maximizing her very own potential as a woman.
The Black Renaissance Woman is Winning
The renaissance woman is educated, business oriented, a goal-digger with financial savvy, yet she manages to balance this with a home life. She priorities her children, husband, and career -in that order, while taking pride in her feminine responsibilities as mother, care-giver and nurturer. She understands that inherent to her duties as care- giver and nurturer is the provision of a life for her family alongside her husband – a life beyond mediocrity. She revels in the idea of building wealth, being able to live a life of ease, to co-provide better schooling and extra-curricular activities for the children she refuses to raise under substandard circumstances. She understands that the acquisition of wealth is a joint effort and comes with its share of trade-offs. She recognizes that generational wealth will not be acquired through merely meeting the bills and possibly having an emergency savings, but through investment vehicles which she is better prepared for with having a dual income household. But most importantly, that the ultimate goal is a life of betterment for the children she chose to birth. By doing so, she becomes the heroine in her own story and in the life of her husband and children.